25 weeks with Grace and 25 weeks with Ezra
I had some fetal monitoring done after a fall and was told I was having very regular contractions, after a few attempts to see if we could get it to stop on my own that didn't work, I ended up being given terbutaline to stop them and the next several weeks would be filled with fear of preterm labor and many painful hours of contraction. I counted everyday he stayed in there as a blessing and him growing stronger.
I woke up in the middle of the night with some bleeding, after talking to my midwife we took the trip to the hospital, and after a few painful exams,they told me my membranes had ruptured and I was going to have to deliver soon. A few hours later I was started on pitocin, and hooked up to the monitor. My husband, my daughter and my doulas was there. Most were expecting me to deliver that night. Over the next hours we tried every position, showering, walking, climbing stairs, squatting.. you name it.. and while I would have a few contractions, they wouldn't stick. The pitocin kept getting increased to no help. They told me about NICU nurses being there at the birth, assured me his longs should be well developed.. I didn't understand it all, I was still in chock about having to deliver more than a month earlier. I mean I hadn't even gotten him a bed yet. I was happy it was still my midwife calling the shots, but since I was being induced and was going to have a preemie, it still meant many painful exams and interventions. By midnight my pitocin got bumped up to 20. The highest setting. To no help still.. they choose after several hours on that to try and slow it down again. Next morning my midwife came back, saying she wanted to check if my water was indeed broken, since they apparently never tested for it. So I had another exam,and it confirmed that my water was not broken,p. After more than 24 hours at the hospital, and roughly 20 hours on pitocin they told me in a few hours I would be released and they would just monitor me to see me and baby were doing good. A part of em was of course happy, my baby would get to cook longer and grow better.. but a part of me was absolutely heartbroken. I had been proper and prodded, all for nothing. I wasn't going to get my baby. My body was a mess afterwards.. swollen from fluids given to me, scars from IVs, and a completely lack of trust in the drs. The next weeks I kept thinking he was going to come any day. When I finally hit the 37 week mark it was a huge relive . The past 9 weeks I had prayed we would make it to term.
I started having slight contractions Sunday morning, they got closer together but then faded like many times before. After passing my due date I had stopped believing it would happen naturally, I was certain I would have to be induced. Having had 2 preterm scares it felt so unreal actually going over my due date, I think the fact I had prepared to have him early so long, made the fact that I was this far along seem unreal. I got up at 4AM Monday morning and noticed some bloody show, by 6 AM my contractions were getting a little more painful, but I could still manage.. throughout the day it started feeling more and more intense and painful, but both length and intervals were inconsistent. By 9PM I called the midwife and she told me to relax and time them. At around 1.45 they got so close that I couldn't cope as well and I woke Andrew and we headed towards the birth center. The drive there seemed like the longest of my life, even though it was only an hour and a half. My contractions slowed down a bit, and didn't pick up until we were almost at the birth center. Throughout the stay there they were still inconsistent, but became more and more painful. I tried sitting on a birth ball, walking, showering, but my body seems to just do it's own thing. Early afternoon we were sent out to do some walking to speed things up and told to come back only if they became closer together and I showed more signs of progressing, the next hours were horrible. Contractions increased rapidly in pain, but they were anything from 2-7 minutes apart. With each contraction I both felt I got closer, but I also lost courage, I didn't know how much longer I could bear the pain. We tried keeping busy but ended up going home. I barely remember the car drive home. It was like I had found some peace in the pain, I remember feeling like I mentally wasn't fully present in the car. The thought of being in our own home keept me going, I knew it would be where I would be able to relax the most. We stopped at chick fil a, and being able to move around a little felt amazing. We called the midwife and since my contractions hadn't gotten much closer together we just continued on our way home. After arriving home and putting Grace to bed the pain became unbearable for a while and I tried easing it with Benadryl, Even though it didn't at all help I started to relax a bit. Around 9.30 we agreed Andrew should go rest with grace so they would be ready if I needed them later, it felt like I was going to pass out as I was exhausted from having been up so many hours. I tried laying down but couldn't do anything to get comfortable, suddenly I was able to feel relief for a few minutes, and then everything just felt totally different. Around 10 PM I wrote my doula that I needed help managing my pain, and as I was writing her I felt a weird popping sensation and my water broke. From my description of how things were going she insisted I wake up Andrew. After being convinced by her and my increasing pain I got him up and suddenly things went fast. I couldn't move a lot due to shaking and an increased urge to push. While andrew was getting things ready I started thinking about just laying in bed and delivering there as I didn't feel I could move anymore, I felt my body was just done. There was a sense of relief and a sense of fear, I knew my pain wouldn't last much longer and my baby was going to be here soon, but on the other hand I also knew I still had some work a head of me, I don't know how, But I somehow managed to get down the stairs.. almost. As the last step I feared could lead to me delivering right then and there, I sat down and knew that I probably shouldn't be getting up, Moving to the car was not an option and I got more and more scared. I remember thinking I was going to deliver on our stair case. Andrew called an ambulance and even though the wait seemed like forever, within minutes I was on the stretcher and while they were trying to figure out how long we had, I kept trying to make them give me an epidural or just something to ease my pain. (Apparently paramedics don't give epidural sin IVs 🤣). My contractions were less than a minute apart and I had no control over pushing as my body had completely taken over. When we got to the OB department they asked if between contractions I could move to the bed, and I made it, with next push I felt baby crowning and as they were checking if I was right, the baby came out. No one to catch the little guy.. my husband wasn't even there.. but it was such a relief and I was so grateful for another unmedicated birth. Even though I didn't think I could take the pain, I managed, and my little boy was here. I was so relieved when my doula, Andrew and Grace walked in. I remember informing Andrew I had given birth. (As if the baby on my chest wasn't a give away). Even though he missed the actual birth, he still got to cut the cord like he did with Grace. I was exhausted, relieved and so grateful. Holding my boy My heart grew so much. During my pregnancy I was worried.. how could I possibly love someone as much as I love Grace. But that fear disappeared fast.
This pregnancy had a lot of stress, mainly spending my third trimester concerned about preterm labor.
Sitting here with my boy in my arms, I would do it all again. Having a birth plan is great, but both of my deliveries have gone completely different than I ever expected.. and even though I didn't like it when it happened, and sometimes it's frustrating when everything goes differently than planned, i wouldn't change a thing.
I hope to share Graces birth story soon.
Write something about yourself. No need to be fancy, just an overview.